Key Traits Aspiring Women Leaders Need

This post is aimed at women and men alike. I hope that women readers will learn to recognize these behaviours in themselves and act to eliminate them. For the male readers, I hope they will learn to identify the following group dynamics and play their part in rectifying the situation. I have been in countless meetings over the years involving teams of executives or managers and have noticed certain behaviours in certain women that ultimately held them back from being the best contributors they could be. This very often limited their impact in the group discussions and, consequently, their career progression.

I have mentored some of them over the years and here are the points most had in common.

Be bolder rather than meeker

If you have to choose between being a little more subdued or being a little more bold, chose bold. You may have been raised in a culture where your female role models were more quiet or less bold when making their point, but in the corporate world, bold beets meek every time. If you have a great idea to share, be bold about it.

Stop apologizing for your great ideas

If you have a tendency to be apologetic for your great ideas, stop it. I have seen countless examples of female leaders propose an idea and almost be apologetic about it. It comes across when using expressions such as, “I’m not sure if this is the right time to bring this up, but I’ve been thinking...” or “I know it’s not my area of expertize but, I think we should ...” or “I might be wrong here, but maybe we should...” Introducing ideas in this manner does not win people over. It places you on a defensive position. If you have something to say, just say it with confidence. If you have to, practice how you will raise your point ahead of time. A little rehearsal goes a long way to helping someone sound more confident.

Don’t get cut off

If you get cut off at meetings by a male colleague, don't be so polite. Jump in and regain control of the conversation. Don’t wait until the person finishes their point. Simply jump in with, “Excuse me John, but I was not finished" and then just continue with your point. Do this a few times, and most people will think twice about interrupting you in the future.

Don’t let others restate what you said

If you make a point and someone follows it with, “what I think Jane meant to say was...” it can be an attempt to minimize what you said, marginalize your contribution, or to take credit for your great idea. Be sure to reclaim your point. Let them finish but them jump right back in with, “Actually John, I think I was quite clear with what I meant to say, and that is ...”

Sit in a power seat

In meetings, I can categorically state that the old real estate adage location-location-location is directly applicable. When going into a meeting, don’t take a back seat. Arrive a bit earlier and be sure to get a seat that is located centrally to the flow of the conversation. This will help you have more impact and be seen as an important contributor.

Confront the repeat offenders

The most difficult issue for many women I have mentored was to confront the repeat offenders. If you find that the same person seems to repeatedly interrupt you or minimize the points you make at meeting, it is time to meet them one-on-one and make it clear to them that you have identified this behaviour and that you wish for them to stop. If that person is a superior, it is more tricky. Find a mentor of equal rank or higher to the repeat offender and enlist their help.

If you’re a male leader

Be aware of the behaviours above and do not accept them from your teams. Jump it and be sure to give equal floor space and air time that your female leaders. It will pay off in spades.